Stop Letting People Hold You Back

I guess the easy way to say this is: haters will hate. But, we can get deeper than this. Hang out with haters for long enough and you will start to become a hater too. And I don’t mean to others, I’m talking about self-sabotaging your own progress. Stop letting people hold you back!

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Some of us have negativity deeply rooted in our lives.

We fail to realize that negativity has been implanted into our very being, over time, by negative people. All the discouragement, whether on purpose or due to ignorance, has been planting seeds of negativity in our DNA. When we wonder why we lack motivation and why our lives are stagnant, we never rewind time to the very beginning. Who was it that planted that first seed of doubt?

Make no mistake. I am not validating excuses because some people will use their past as a clutch.

I am simply stating that we need to find the root of our negative inner voice, perform some type of genetic modification and, remove that junk DNA. Negativity is plentiful in this world; no one needs extra. There are things that people have said to us that have taken root in our lives; things that have implanted themselves into our DNA. Well, it’s time that we do some genetic modification and remove that junk DNA. We don’t need it.

First order of business is to stop letting other people’s opinions become our internal dialogue.

Sometimes we hear something so many times that it becomes a part of our own internal dialogue. Have you ever thought that your negative voice sounds a lot like someone you know? If so, start being cautious around the voice of your negativity. Chances are they might be the main source of your negative tendencies.

Just because they couldn’t do it, it does not mean you can’t.  

Oftentimes, people think that because they failed, you will too.  But, your circumstance is not their circumstance. Also, who knows what could have happened if they had held out just a little bit longer? Maybe they could have succeeded. Or maybe it wasn’t in life’s plans for them. But, you are not them. Who knows what will happen when you try and keep going? Maybe you will succeed where they failed. So what if you fail? Failure is a success in its own right. Maybe you won’t succeed but, don’t let the question of “what if?” haunt you all your life just because someone said something to discourage you.

Be cognizant and create a replacement statement for negativity.

You cannot always ban the negative people from your life. Sometimes those negative people are your family members or your co-workers. But, you can create boundaries. You can create strategies to replace the negativity. Personally, I talk to negative people but, I always make sure I get out of the conversation as soon as possible. I limit the conversation to what is necessary. If we are doing a school project, that’s the only thing I am talking about with that person. After that, I’m leaving. It’s important to know the characteristics of a negative person so that you know when to guard yourself.

Characteristics of a negative person

  • Always the bearer of bad news
  • Pessimistic
  • Always complaining
  • Stagnant in life. They never do more.
  • Make even the good news sound depressing
  • They want to tell you where you can’t and can go in life.

I think we all know at least one person like this. They just drain all our energy when we see them coming. Honestly, they make me so tired. I just want to be positive and succeed in life and here they are with a cloud over their heads. But, back to the actual topic. Here is what you need to do so you are not held back by negative people.

First, recognize the negative statements.

Sometimes, these statements will sound so inconspicuous that you fail to see the harm behind the statement. Learn the components of negative statements so, you can be aware. These statements will drain you and make you feel guilty for being who you are. This goes for your own thoughts too. Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy.

Recognize the good things in life.

Maybe, you’ve been a little ungrateful lately and the only time you think of what you are thankful for is during Thanksgiving. What are you grateful for? Having a grateful approach to life will help you to appreciate where you’ve come from and where you are going in the future. Because if you could go through what you did and still be sane or almost sane, that opens a lot of possibilities for where you can go in the future. Don’t wait until you’ve actually reached your goal to be grateful. Practice gratitude throughout the process to get the most out of life.

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Challenge your current negative thoughts.

Your thoughts say you cannot apply for the job because the pay is too high so it probably requires more qualifications than you can meet. Why? Did you actually read the full job description before you thought that? What if you meet all the job requirements? What is your real reason you feel you cannot apply? Why is theta amount too high? You may just be the most qualified applicant. There are a lot of people who apply to jobs with only half the qualifications figuring they will learn the rest later so, why can’t you?

STOP letting negative people judge you so much!

Everyone has their downfalls. Just because theirs is not in the open, does not mean it does not exist. Do not let judgemental people hold you back. As sad as it may sound, you are not a unique situation. There is probably someone who is or has been in a similar situation with the courage to do what you cannot do. Do not let judgmental people be the only thing that holds you back in life.

Maybe,you can be an inspiration to others.

Perhaps, you want to go back to school but, you worry about how long it took you to go back and worry about what people will say. Will those people live your life for you with no degree? No! Maybe, they have a degree of their own so, they’re fine. Maybe, they are jealous of your ambition. I doubt you will be the oldest person or even the only person to go back to school. There are people who go back to school in their 50’s, 60’s, etc. I even heard of one man in his 80’s going back to school to get his bachelor degree! Live your best life! Your journey can be an inspiration to others. If the haters can’t see that, leave them in their dark corner.

Recognize your strengths and hone in on them.

If you know your strengths and can become confident in them. There is not anything someone can say about you that will deter you from your goals. Especially if your goal capitalizes on your strengths and passion. Practice confidence and if you can’t, fake it until you make it as some will say. Sometimes it does not always work but, you won’t know until you try.

Now that you’ve read this. I hope you can go out there and thrive! Stop letting people hold you back! They do not have any investment in your life because they are not living in your body. You have to live with you for the rest of your life so you might as well be happy and be where you want to be in the future.

Thanks for listening to my rant!

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Shika Tamaklo is a pharmacist who graduated from Mercer University (2020). She is a college lifestyle blogger who writes on fitness, health, life struggles, creative side hustles and, occasionally dabbles in creative writing.

12 thoughts on “Stop Letting People Hold You Back

  1. This was a really good read. I consider myself to be an “empath” so I will literally absorb other people’s negative energy and make it my own. It’s something I have to work on and you gave some great advice!

    Liked by 1 person

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