Real Life Rants: I’m Complaining

This post is a little different today. Whenever I don’t have any motivating things to say, it’s pretty hard to write because that’s what I built this blog on. But I also would like to be honest. And that means not every day will be perfect and I won’t feel like being my best every day.

Lately, I’ve just been tired. I don’t feel like doing anything. If it was up to me, I would just sleep and work on my blog every day. I truly love working on this blog. It’s my passion.

The other things in life I would take a break from. While my block 2 rotation was fun and I definitely learned a lot, it was certainly stressful. I am an introvert and I need my space and time alone to recharge.

I was with people all the time so it was stressful. I felt like I was always on. Then I had some projects and topic discussions to read about at home, chores, pharmacy law quizzes every other Sunday.

It just felt like there was never a time where I could just be alone and do nothing with no responsibility. I am on my one-week vacation now and I don’t even think I am going to have the rest I want. That makes me really sad.

Because all I wanted was to sleep for almost a week and to work on my blog. Yes, today, I’m really ranting today.

Usually my journal would get rant but I had no time to actually plan an organized blog post and I also don’t want to pretend to feel great. I feel exhausted.

I have an assignment to finish and a law quiz at the end of this “vacation.” I cannot wait to be done with school. I hope to have at least a little break after I graduation. And during that time, I don’t want anyone to look at me, talk to me, or expect me to do or go anywhere. That will be the best gift ever. No texts, no phone calls, no emails. No nothing.

I just want to be alone with no responsibilities and re-charge. I am so exhausted. No offense to anyone. But that’s what I need for my own self-care. I just feel like by the end of this non-vacation, I am going to be expected to be recharged when I go back on rotations.

However, I am really going to be on the verge of burn-out. I feel it. Originally, I had other ideas for my Monday post. But I changed my mind and I just wasn’t inspired to write about what I planned to write about before. Maybe on Wednesday.

But lately I feel like I’ve been losing inspiration lately. It might be writer’s block or stress stifling my creative juices. I feel like I just need one nice weekend to not do anything, talk to anyone, or prepare for anything. I’m tired of chores, people, having to read about something, etc.

I feel like such a depressing person. I’m in another unmotivated rut and I feel like my mental health is definitely not it’s best. I’ll save you all from having to listen to me complain and keep this post short.

 I feel guilty because I feel like this isn’t a real post or least not my regular. Then, my inner perfectionist is complaining because there is no order and this is not even close to 1000 words. I was doing so well until life got the best of me. I’m human.

Thanks for listening to my rant,

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Have you ever felt like you needed a break from everything and everyone? How do you get your break without putting a stop to everything when you need to keep on going? Asking for me. I really want a break to just be by myself. Like if you relate. Comment to help with my dilemma.

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Shika Tamaklo is a pharmacist who graduated from Mercer University (2020). She is a college lifestyle blogger who writes on fitness, health, life struggles, creative side hustles and, occasionally dabbles in creative writing.

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