I’m going to address self-worth here again. It’s an important topic that deserves more thought. And I wanted you to know that you are more than the projects you execute.
Self-worth depends on your acceptance of yourself. And many times, when it comes to accepting ourselves, it becomes very hard. Because we tend to attach our worth to our accomplishments.
We make how much we value ourselves conditional rather than unconditional. Your self-worth should not be conditional. Meaning that no matter what happens to you and your accomplishments, you should still see value in yourself.
The problem with attaching your self-worth to tangible things.
Attaching your self-worth to tangible things such as accomplishments makes your value conditional.
Because if you attach all your value to your job, one day you might lose your job or even have to retire. Then, what?
Where does your value come from? Are you worth anything to yourself? Your self-worth is not how many trophies you have. Because the day you lose the competition, you start to deem yourself worthless.
Your self-worth is not determined as your status of being the best gymnast or best athlete out there. You are worth more than that with or without the medals of glory.
All these things that you are trying to attach your worth to are not permanent. At any moment you can lose your status, your job, your ability to walk, talk, and your influence, and thereby, your self-worth. Your self-worth is supposed to be unwavering.
You deserve happiness no matter what.
If you rely on things that can easily be shaken, your self-worth will be easy to shatter.
The other issue with attaching your self-worth to the number of things you execute is that you will always feel incomplete. Noting will satiate that need to become valuable.
You will constantly be searching for that thing that allows you to feel self-acceptance and value. But you will never find it because that kind of self-worth cannot be found in how much you accomplish in life.
You will always be looking for more. Constantly searching for validation. When in reality having 10 gold medals versus 100 gold medals will not satisfy you.
You will still want more because your self-worth cannot be satisfied by surface level things like looks, money, how many friends you have, or what you do for a living. Because looks fade. Money fluctuates.
You can have 500 Facebook friends and none of them could really know you or appreciate you. And you are not guaranteed your position forever. Even founders get booted from their own company sometimes.
So, in event of any of these tragedies, you need to be able to still feel like you have value. You need to be able to feel like you are still important and still worthy of loving yourself even without any of these “things of value.”
So, How Should You Measure Your Self-Worth?
I’ve pretty much eliminated all the ways you know. How can you measure your self-worth?
The Way You Talk to Yourself
Yes, your internal monologue matters. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Are you patient, loving, and reasonable? Or are you in-patient and forgiving?
Would you talk to your best friends or your family members the way you talk to yourself? The way you talk to yourself says a lot about how much you value yourself.
If you wouldn’t talk to someone important the way you talk to yourself, now is the time to re-evaluate your life. You might be your own limiting factor.
Try to get behind the reason why? Are you attaching too much value to physical accomplishments or comparing yourself to others? Start trying to be a little more loving to yourself with your words.
How You Treat Yourself and Take Action for Yourself
This may seem the same as how you talk to yourself. But it’s not. This is the manifestation of how you talk to yourself coming to life in a more physical sense.
How do you treat yourself? Do you feel that you are worthy of new bedsheets when your old one gets raggedy? I’m not asking if you can afford it. That’s different.
Do you feel like you deserve it? Are you worth upkeeping? What is the reason that you would buy your sister a new coffee-maker that you also want and not yourself? Are you treating yourself like Cinderella, pre-fairy-tale ending?
Why? Do you invest in yourself? Are you making opportunities for yourself to follow your dreams? Why or why not?
There is something there. You encourage so many others to follow their dreams and pursue their happiness. What is stopping you? Why don’t you think that you aren’t good enough?
Tell yourself otherwise. Affirm to yourself that you are good enough. Treat yourself like your most valued friend or family member. What would you want them to do and feel?
Do you prioritize your health? Make time to get your self-care regimen down. That means your spiritual, practical, physical, emotional, social, and mental self-care. Start acting like you’re worth it and the rest will follow.
How to Develop Your Self-Worth
So, your self-worth is lacking a bit. How do you change that? Well, you’re on the right track because now you are aware of how much you value yourself. You can start by doing a few of these exercises.
- What do you love about your personality? Try to find one thing daily if creating a list is too hard on day one.
- Make affirmations out of the things you love
- Focus on your strengths more
- Notice your negative and limiting thoughts. Whenever you notice a negative thought. Try to re-frame it in a positive way.
- Talk to yourself with patience and love (or your most cherished friend)
- Tell yourself that you deserve happiness, fulfillment, and progress. And sometimes that requires an investment. And you are worth that investment.
Self-worth is all about accepting yourself with or without the accomplishments. You can tell a lot about your self-worth by the way you talk to yourself, treat yourself or take action for yourself. But, the good thing about self-worth is that you can work on it.
There are tons of worksheets and exercises that can help you to have a healthy self-worth. It starts with becoming aware of yourself and how you see yourself. Then, from there you can change the narrative.
Make a list of what you love about your personality. Say daily affirmations to yourself and talk to yourself with love and patience. No one is perfect. You love and value others despite their flaws. Why not value yourself too? Don’t be too hard on yourself.
All in all, your worth is not how much money you have, trophies you have or clothes you have in your closet. Your self-worth is within you and if you lose everything else, you need to make sure that you still value yourself despite your losses.
You are more than your achievements. Your self-worth is not your accomplishments. I don’t know how many different ways I said the same thing. But someone needed to hear that today.
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