Unpopular Opinion: It’s Okay to Feel Sorry for Yourself and The Critical Reason Why

People say, don’t throw a pity party. I’m going to tell you that it’s completely fine to throw a pity party. Just leave when the party is over. In other words, it’s okay to feel sorry for yourself because you lost the competition.

But don’t let that moment define the rest of your day, week, or month. Feel sorry for yourself because you’re human and have emotions then make your game plan. Don’t dwell in a hole.

Why it’s okay to feel sorry for yourself?

its okay to feel sorry for yourself and cry
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We all fail at one point or many points in our lives. And it sucks. You feel horrible. After all those sleepless nights and days that you dedicated to studying, you still failed the class.

Yeah, that sucks. You are going to feel like trash. You’re human. It’s only natural. No one in their right mind will automatically just be like I got an F on this important exam. I can bounce back and pivot from my failures!

You’re going to mourn your grades first and your lost time. Then, after you’ve shed a couple of tears. You can start making plans to pivot.

It’s okay to cry. In fact, I encourage you to cry. It helps you to release all the high tension and stress that you were going through. So, cry, release and, move on. Crying and feeling your emotions at the moment is the only way you can move on properly.

If you avoid your sadness and push it out of the way, it’s just going to be waiting to ambush you later. Except it will come with friends: stress, anger, and burn-out.

But the reaction will be so delayed that you’ll wonder where the heck it came from. Everything was fine. No, you’ve been lying to yourself. And pushing your feelings out of the way for so long that you forgot you were harboring so much pain.

And that pain, stress, and sadness begin to build up until it affects your work and your physical health. You start to feel tired all the time.

Your to-do list builds up because you have trouble just doing the simple things like replenishing your trash bags.

Allowing yourself to feel emotions, even the ones with a negative connotation like sadness keeps you sane.

Sadness, anger, stress, and frustration are all a part of being a human. The problem comes when you stay in those emotions for too long.

How to get out of the hole?

feel sorry for yourself then leave the pity hole
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So, you let yourself feel. Now, you’re sad. You’ve cried about your failure. Where do you go from here? You’ve never been fired? What happened? You thought you were doing well. How do you get back up from the slump of rejection?

Realize that you can fail.

You’re going to feel horrible. That’s a fact. But it’s your ability not to treat those feelings as facts that separate people. Yes, you feel like a failure because you were fired. But are you really a failure? No.

People get fired every day for many different reasons. Sometimes, the reasons that they were fired have nothing to do with them. You can bounce back.

Oprah got fired from her news reporter job because she was believed to be a bad fit for the job. JK Rowling was fired from a secretary job.

If they can bounce back, you can. Just visualize your success story. Your ascent from zero to hero. That’s a great story, isn’t it?

Also, make sure that you get out of your hole every day. Your hole may be your house or your job. Make sure you get out and get a change of scenery.

A little sunlight can do wonders for your mood. Take a walk. Bask in the beauty of nature and the simple things. Hang out with the people who know how to empathize with you and then make you laugh until you cry the next minute.

What to do once you’re out of the hole

how to feel better after you feel sorry for yourself
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Okay, out of the emotional hole. What do you do now? Set your game plan. You come back stronger and re-energized.

Make your detailed plan to bounce back.

If that means re-connecting with why you started school in the first place. Or creating a new set of goals and challenging your motivation, you got to do it.

Also, reward yourself for being amazing.

You did a great job. You tried your best. This time will be better. Learn from your mistakes and keep going on.

Encourage yourself and confide in your team regularly.

They are a part of your team because they care about you and your emotional stability.

Make sure you are not feeling sorry for yourself too often. If this becomes a habit, then there’s a bigger issue involved.

You shouldn’t be crying every day or spending every day in darkness. If that’s the case, you definitely want to find a professional to help you.

You may not find the right mental health professional for you right away but, don’t give up. It’s like finding the right friend. You’re not going to click well with everyone.

But don’t get it twisted, your counselor is not your friend. They are there to help you as a professional.

Bounce Back

 feel sorry for yourself then bounce back
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All in all, feeling sorry for yourself occasionally is not an indicator that something is wrong with you. It is human to react to disappointing circumstances.

Sadness, anger, and stress are valid emotions just like happiness and excitement. Cry if you need to and have a mini pity party. But remember to get back up and come back stronger.

Rely on your team to support you. Visualize your success. Use your time that you feel sorry for yourself to allow your emotions to pass instead of bundling them up for later. Because they will come back later.

You cannot hold on to negative emotions pretending to be okay forever. So, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to feel sorry for yourself every now and then. Just don’t stay in the pity party hole. Bounce back!

Thanks for reading my rant,

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Shika Tamaklo is a pharmacist who graduated from Mercer University (2020). She is a college lifestyle blogger who writes on fitness, health, life struggles, creative side hustles and, occasionally dabbles in creative writing.

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